News flash: We workers want to feel useful, not just appreciated

My friend received a promotion, a raise, and a big fat bonus, but in the end, he still chose to leave the company. His departure offended some older executives who asked questions like “Doesn’t this kid realize how good he has it?” The truth is that my friend did appreciate his situation and it had nothing to do with generational conflict. The real problem was he didn’t feel useful.

Being appreciated and feeling useful are related but vastly different feelings. Being appreciated means getting thanked for doing your job. Being useful means caring about the change you are making. Investment bankers often tell me they feel appreciated. Teachers, by contrast, usually say they feel useful.

I think feeling useful plays a big role in achieving happiness. The more I examine my own life, the more I see that it’s not about how much money you can make or how many awards you can win. It’s about how many people you can help, and how useful you feel about it. I recently read an interesting quote that captured these thoughts: “The grand essentials of happiness in this life are something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.” While not a formula for happiness, I have yet to find a more concise and accurate description.

This discussion might explain why very rich people can feel unsatisfied. While rich people have a lot of money, this money reflects a net worth and a measure of how society appreciates their services. Deep down their wealth does not necessarily relate to self worth, and they long to feel truly useful.

And so my friend, young as he was, decided to ditch appreciation at a shot for usefulness. He left his corporate job for a teaching opportunity, and he has not looked back. I’m rooting for him.