The game theory of online sarcasm and jokes

In college I would occasionally share edgy jokes to the dorm email list.

One day, I asked if anyone minded them. I got a reply like this: “The jokes are so offensive. Please stop hurting my weak, delicate feelings.”

At first I brushed it off. I knew this person and he hated political correctness and overly sensitive people. It was sarcasm and a joke….right?

I hesitated at the thought he was being serious. It is useful to look at the game theory of the situation.

The sender can either intend it to be a joke or serious. In turn, I can either interpret the email as a joke or serious. There are four possible outcomes:

–If the sender meant it as a joke, and I took it as a joke, then we both get a good laugh

–If the sender meant it as a joke, and I took it as seriously, then the emails would stop until I learned it was sarcasm–then we’d have a good laugh

–If the sender meant it seriously, and I took it as a joke, then I’d probably get in trouble with the college’s residential staff

–If the sender meant it seriously, and I took it seriously, then we’d both move on without incident

In chart form this is:

The chart illustrates the dynamics of the game: there are three good outcomes and only a single bad outcome–when a serious statement is taken as a joke. The good outcomes lead to a chuckle or a maintenance of status quo.

As a point of matter, the bad outcome can be really bad. I know people who have gotten in serious trouble with residential staff and they have had to attend sensitivity training to avoid being kicked out of the dorm.

Therefore, the game suggests that it’s best to take most statements as serious. There is almost no risk to taking statements seriously because either it will be a correct assessment or it will get resolved on a double-check that the other person was sarcastic. This avoids the event of a blow-up entirely.

Conclusion: investigate unclear jokes and sarcasm until you’re sure. I wish I had known this in college and in my first office job when I got in a bit of trouble. I hope this post can spare someone else the same hassle.